ENTRY 8 : Jaji – Little Screaming Of Loaf

It was ordinary day for DBSK guys. They were reading, eating, composing, dancing – nothing special.

»Ringringringring! « the phone rang. Jaejoong picked up the phone and answer:

»Hello? «

»May I speak with Park Yoochun? «

»Yes, just a moment please. « ‘Yo Micky! Someone wanna talk with you!’

‘Coming.’ say Micky. »Hello? This is Park Yoochun. May I help you? «

»Hello Mr. Park. I’m calling from Seoul’s maternity and I’m Doctor Otto. I’ve got terrible news for you. Did you know Miss Apro Himari? «

»Yes, I did… What happened with her? « Guys turned heads to Micky and give him a curious look, but Micky just shrug with shoulders.

“We have to tell you, that Miss Apro died. She was shot with gun. We couldn’t save her, but we save her baby. And…”

“Wait! Wait! Wait! A baby? What baby? She wasn’t pregnant with me… Maybe you’ve made a mistake. I can’t be a father.”

All of them were in shock. Micky couldn’t believe that Himari was pregnant with him. Others were like stones.

Yunho was the first who made a move.

“Micky, can you give him on the speaker?” ask Yunho.

“Mr. Park. Are you still here? Mr. Park?”

“Yes I am. Could you please tell me and others the whole story?” he was on the edge of crying, that’s why he had broken voice.

“Well, we received a call from the café house because some guy started to shot on people. When we arrived there we saw almost the real massacre. There were only a few survivors. The guy who held a gun shot himself in front of my eyes. But now about your wife…”

“Hmmm…She’s not my wife. She was a girlfriend.”

“Oh, sorry. She was shoot in the right chest area, that’s why she died around ten minutes after the attack. Because she was high pregnant I went to her immediately trying to save her and her baby. When she saw me, she grabbed my hand and begged me to save her baby. She knew that she’s dying, but because of that little angel inside her she did stayed alive just a few moments more. There was no time to transport her – every little move she could damaged more then she was – so prepared me and my assistant for a birth on the floor. I’ve done caesarean section and a give a baby to a nurse. With the last breath she told me that you are father of a little angel. Angel because she’s very pretty. No, she’s pure beauty. Miss Himari died at 11:32 pm. Angel was born at 11:29 pm on July 21st 2009.

And now I would like to ask you if you could come to the hospital just for identification of Miss Himari. And to see your daughter Mr. Park?”

“I have a daughter? A little girl? She’s mine? I have…” Yoochun was in shock, sadness and happiness. He didn’t realize yet that he’s a father.

Yunho that the main word and asked the doctor if Yoochun can do some kind of test to see if he’s the real father of a baby. Doctor confirmed and said that this is also another request for Mr. Park. Yunho answered instead of Yoochun and tell that he will be there with his brothers in one hour.

“Thank you. I’ll be waiting in front of the main doors. Good bye.”

After the ‘click’ sound Yoochun collapsed. He was crying and sobbed.

“I love her…I love her more then anything in the world. She was my music, my life…” He suddenly stand up and went to his room where the piano was. He composed and wrote song. It was beautiful – very sad. He really suffered but guys didn’t know how much…

After some time he came out of the room and guys hugged him tightly and then they left the apartment. They went with Yunho’s car, because limo would look to stellar and the paparazzi could be interested for it.

Doc. Otto was waiting near the door just like he said. They bowed. Doctor was leading them the room where Himari lied. They left Yoochun alone with her. When the closed the door they heard crying. Yunho turned to doctor and asked him where the little baby is.

“She’s in the ‘baby room’. But I have one favour. I’d like to keep her here for awhile. She was born two weeks earlier. I’d like to have her on the observation. She’ll be fine here. And after a week or two she can go home.

About blood test – the results will come tomorrow.

Angel is in the incubator right now.”
Then they heard screaming – Yoochun started to scream unintelligible phrases that are boiling out of him between crying.

Yunho, Changmin, Junsu and Jaejoong didn’t know what to do. They were in pain because of Yoochun too, but they were also a bit confused and scared. They realized that Micky lost a big part of him and that will take a while for him to get over it. They were very anxious for him but they couldn’t do anything to erase that pain.

Yoochun for the last time kissed Himari’s forehead and then left the room with broken heart and with a thought on his little girl.

“I want to see my baby.” he silently spoke. His eyes were red and swollen, but his voice was still.

Doctor led them to a ‘baby room’ where he pointed on a little sleeping loaf. Yoochun sat on the chair in front of the incubator. He just watched her.

She had lovely pink lips, cute eye-line and eyebrows, nice cheeks which were like two small peaches and very little hands and fingers. Yoochun put his hand into incubator and touched her. When she grabbed his finger with her soft little hand, he quickly raised his hand to prevent sobs.

He started to caress by heads full of small hairs, soft as down. He petted her soft cheeks like velvet. She woke up and she looked at him with eyes black as coal. She was the real beauty – like her mother. “She’s mine. I’m one hundred percent sure about that. You can check but its waste of time. She’s my little daughter. My Jaji.”

He smiled and looked back to her. He started to touch her little feet and murmur her name like a song.

Guys were stunned. Micky and Jaji were really beautiful together. Junsu was the first who broke the silent between them.

“Look at her. She’s like sunshine. I’m gonna teach her how to be cute as possible. It will be tough because she’s already lovely…” he’s been cut between the words because of strange looks from guys.

“Welcome in the family Jaji.” Micky was on the edge of crying even he tried to stop.

“You could take her home in a week or two. It’s because of her health.” explained doctor when he saw the question in his eyes.

“I’ll visit her every day.” has agreed Yoochun.

All of DBSK members were around Jaji. Then Max surprised everybody with his statement.

“We need a house.”

They looked each other. Max was right but where to buy a house?

“I saw some for sale in suburban area – worth it to go check it out. What do you think?” said Max again.

Micky pulled from a pocket cell phone and gave it to Yunho and said to call the manager. Manager was pissed off when he heard that Micky became father but after few minutes he calmed down and said that he’ll send a person who will show them that houses.

“I just remember that we’ll have to go to that parental school. You know what I mean?” Junsu suddenly asked. But Jaejoong relaxed him and said that the first class is tomorrow at 5 pm.

Nana and the boys went for the views of houses. When they find what they want, they quickly organized all the papers and moved in. furniture was already there – in an orderly and beautiful.

After three weeks Yoochun brought the little screaming thing home. The last two weeks he couldn’t see her because she was sick and nobody except the doctor and nurse.

Meanwhile, boys and Nana prepared everything for their new ‘roommate’. They separately went shopping and really overreacted with toys, diapers, clothes, baby bottles and pacifiers. Xiah bought cart which was pink and on it were flowers, butterflies, bees, sunshines…Nana bought rocking chair, Yunho and Jaejoong repainted the room with light green with pink and yellow stripes, Max bought playpen and Micky bought cradle.

The first thing Jaejoong did was to feed Jaji and he did it well.

Time to change the diaper. The mission has begun – Jaejoong, Changmin and Junsu mentally and physically prepaired for it. Changmin hold Jaji as far away from his smell area as possible while Jaejoong was cleaning her fanny. Xiah was madly running round in the house searching for the diapers, clean cotton sheets, baby powder, when he realized that they forgot to buy changing table. He had to prepair Jaejoong’s bed for the changing time.

“Wa~ you know – we can prepare ourselfs for our kids with this little thing. I’m a genius, right?” Jaejoong said full of anticipations. But Changmin was really shocked.

“I can’t even drive a car and you are saying I have to prepare myself for a kid! You are crazy…”

Meanwhile Micky and Yunho have very hard talk – they’ve discussion what will be when they’ll go on the tour, which will be in October. Micky wants her, but Yunho was worried if something happen to Jaji and Nana. Because they couldn’t decide what to do they went searching for others – the heard funny voices and laughter. They saw Changmin played with Jaji – he carried her around like aeroplane.

While Jaji was sleeping with Nana – they had nap-time; guys decided that she and Jaji will travel with them.

Two weeks later, DBSK had a press conference for the fans and Micky confessed them, that he has a daughter. They were shocked, but they faced with it. Micky asked them not to stalk them. Fans were totally excited about the news. On Cassiopeia and BigEast they opened new topic where could their mums or them put some advices about care of baby. Because of that DBSK had a concert for them, where they thanked fans for the support. At the beginning they hinted that they have a surprise for the fans. By the end of the concert, Micky asked them to be as quiet as possible, because he’s going to introduce them someone. Yunho brought Jaji and gave her to her daddy. He was surprised when he saw happiness of the fans.

Than Max said: “Let me introduce you our niece, Micky’s daughter Jaji.

Fans started to applaud quietly, not to scared Jaji.

In October they started preparing for the tour across Japan.

But suddenly Jaji got sick – she had a terrible flu. Micky had to decide between the tour and his little girl. But Nana insists that he must go. Jaji will be fine with her. He had to agree with her. They were gone for eight weeks and in each city were two concerts and a show. Micky called Nana every day how’s Jaji. Guys were a little annoyed by that- of course they loved Jaji too, but this was a bit too much.

But the last week Micky was missing. They had only one more concert till the end. Yoochun was home- happily hugged with Jaji. Nana was on the edge of crying- she was in love with Micky sins they met. No-one knew that- she hide her love, because she saw love between Himari and him. But somehow guys (except foe Micky) noticed her sympathy on him. She asked them not to tell Yoochun.

Yunho called Yoochun- he was really pissed of (others too, but not so much) – where he is and why he left them?! Yoochun told them that he won’t be able to come back on time. Yunho was yelling at him for a while. But than one of the video technicians told them that they can connect him with them and the fans by the internet camera.

When the concert began fans were a bit upset where Micky is. Then they saw him on the big display, where he played the piano. When he stopped, he explained:

“Hello! I’m at home, with my dear Jaji and I’m very, very sorry that I’m not with you. Please understand…” than he waved and the concert continued.

With Nana and Jaji, he was totally alone. He had an idea. He went shopping food for dinner and when he came home he send Nana and Jaji for a walk-for three hours!!! Nana was a little confused, but in a while they were laughing at something and than she left. When she left, Micky quickly called Jaejoong and then- with Jaejoong’s instructions-he started to cook dinner. It was quiet good- he just burned the soup and dessert- twice! But when Nana came home and smelled something delicious, she became very curios. She saw Micky as a chef of the cuisine- she was speechless. Nana gets Jaji ready for sleep and put her in the craft and went in the kitchen, where Micky was waiting.

“it’ s just a simple thanks dinner- you take care of and love Jaji like she’s yours. And I’m very happy to see that. Thank you, Nana. I really don’t know what I’d do without you. You saved me and my Jaji.” They were talking all nigh long. Maybe because of wine or just of their attractiveness, they kissed and if Jaji wasn’t crying they could started something that they might regret later. Nana went to checked her and when she felt his hands on her neck, she turned and said:

“Let’s stop here. We could feel horrible after that. Please. We would feel guilty and maybe I’d have to leave the family. Please, because of our….your baby…don’t do that…”

“She’s right….” thought Micky- he kissed her on the neck and stroked Jaji.

“You’re right. Good night. Sweet dreams.” Then he left the room.

Later in the night.

They couldn’t sleep. They were tossing and turning around… Nana went quietly in Yoochun’s bedroom.

“Still up?” she asked.

“Yes…Jump in!” he lifted the sheets and Nana rose up in bed towards him. They were face to face…

“Why did you and Himari break up? She never told me why.”

“When her family found out that she wants to marry me they send her to Bali. We never broke up. She only could write me a letter that I won’t heard of her anymore. That’s why I didn’t know that she’s pregnant. And now she’s dead…” He started to cry. Nana touched his face and Micky kissed her palm. He looked into her eyes and than she spoke.

“Let me love you. I can erase your pain which Himari’s dead caused. I’ll be there for you day by day. We can take baby steps for our love. I’m patient. No matter what. Can you accept my love?” her eyes were closed while she was talking.

“I don’t know. Right now I feel so empty. Let’s wait for some time and leave this talk beside. OK? We are a little drunk and we probably don’t thing the same- wine’s talking trough us. Let’s just sleep- what do you thing?” said Micky and when Nana turned on her flank, he grabbed her and pulled her to be right next to him- he didn’t remove his hand from her. In that pose they fall asleep.

When they woke up – he was lying on his back and Nana lied on his chests. They were embarrassed and quickly went in bathroom.

When guys came home and saw this formality between them, they decided to change that. Yunho and Max went to talk to Micky and talked to him, while Xiah and Hero talked with Nana. When they finished they took Jaji and went for a walk.

Micky: “Nana, look…. I’m trying to forget Himari and the past but it’s hard. I’m trying to move on – for Jaji. I feel strange feeling when I’m with you – it’s not love neither hateness – God no! – It’s like kindness, respect, sympathy and happiness mixed together. I…” but Nana stopped him.

“I know it’s hard. It’s hard for me too, you know? She was my best friend and my partner in projects. I think it’s best that we just let time to do – whatever it’ll do, it’ll be good for us – well I hope. What do you think?”

“Maybe that’s the best – yes your right.” Than they hugged.

When guys came back they saw everything was like before. Only “lovers” looked more in love than before. They blinked each other.

A year or two were around. Jaji was a little adventuress – she was already walking and she could say: appa, momma, ‘min (Changmin), Jun’ (Junsu), ‘uno (Yunho), jej’ (Jaejoong) and some other words. Micky and Nona were closer and closer.

One day Nona and Jaji were home alone. Jaji was very curiously child. Nana went in the kitchen for Jaji’s dinner. When she came back Jaji was gone. Nana looked everywhere, but she couldn’t find her. She was in panic. Dark thoughts crossed her mind- was she kidnapped, fell from the window, went out…? She called Yoochun, but he didn’t hear his phone. She started to walk up and down. After few minutes guys entered into house – they were laughing, but when they saw Nana crying they stopped. Nana jumped into Yoochun’s arms and mumble unrelated sentences – he started to relax her with his hand – he stroked her up and down on the back. She told them that Jaji’s missing. They quickly started to search her – even outside because it was getting darker. Appa and momma stayed where they were – hugged and in silent. Yoochun still stroked her and Nana was almost asleep in his arms while others were searching for Jaji. Max even looked in the toilet, Junsu and Yunho went out but they couldn’t find her. Jaejoong went to the balcony where he heard murmuring. He looked more carefully and saw Jaji sleeping behind the carpet (Nana washed it and dry it). He raised her into his laps and took her downstairs. Micky took her and gave her two little punchers across her fanny – he was very sorry about that when he saw her tears but what was done was done. Jaji hide her head in momma’s arm and ask if momma is angry.

“Honey, I’m just little angry – you made us scared. Don’t you do that again, ok?”

Jaji lift her head and said with smile:

“Momma kiss appa!”

Nana surprised opens her eyes, but Micky already kissed her on the check. Somehow Jaji wasn’t agree with that.

“No. Me kiss night night here (she pointed on her lips). Appa no?”

Translation: “Why you always kiss me on lips for good night, but you won’t appa?”

Nana blushed immediately before Micky kisses her passionately. Jaji cover her eyes but she still peaked.

Kiss was long and it showed how much they love each other. Guys disappear without any noise.

Yoochun looked into her eyes and said:

“Only now I really know what you mean to me. When you are not around I can hardly breath – I miss you so much. When you are here you give me your support and help. Your love is always around. There was no day that you wouldn’t expect me with a smile on your face and hands open for hug and comfort. When I need you, you’re there regardless what happened. Even when I stayed alone with Jaji you left your shiny carrier of saxophonist and came here to live with me…us. I wish that I could tell you what you are to me…”

Nana put her finger on his soft lips.

“Yoochun you don’t know what you mean to me!” when she spoke her eyes were closed and with tears on her check.

“Always when I looked into your eyes, even just for a second, it was like new world is around me and when u smiled, even a bit, was enough to make my day. I feel that you are made for me. If I said that I love You! are these words too small for the feelings I feel when I’m around you…So I…”

“Will you, Lee Nana, take me for your husband, who loves you more than the air he breathes?”

Nana was I shock, but without a second thought she said:

“Yes, I will! I will! Hahaha, you want to marry me! Yes! YES! I love!!”

She kissed him and between the kiss she felt the ring on her finger. Guys appeared from nowhere and start to laugh and scream.

The End

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