[ENTRY 1] A Christmas Angel

Yoochun walked with his head filled with so many questions. Their group was currently experiencing a problem. And somehow everything and everyone around them were starting to get affected, one by one…. especially their fans.

He sighed heavily. It was almost Christmas time and such a frustrating problem suddenly came. Only a miracle could solve their problem now. Everything was already out of hand. Too many people were already involved and too many opinions and decisions were being considered. There were times that he was even thinking that maybe it was better to just give up and go their separate ways.

Lately he had noticed the gap, the invisible wall that was separating all of them. And as each day passes by, he knew the wall just kept on growing. And it was only a short time before they would no longer be able to reach each other, even if they wanted to. He wanted things to return to the same state it was before. But things got complicated and mistakes can never be undone.

He slowly sat down on a swing. There were only a few people left in the park. And since it was already passed 10 o’ clock, no one was even bothering to look at him.

This was the only place that he could find refuge, the only spot where he could enjoy some peaceful time alone, away from all the hectic schedules and the screaming fans. He knew his fellow DBSK members were also tired from all the work they had been doing for the last couple of months. It was like there whole world was already centered on the fact that they belonged to the famous group, DBSK. They had no privacy, no life, no love…. no one special to share their achievements with. Somehow he felt like their lives were becoming pointless as time moved on.

“I’m really tired. Why is my life like this?” he unexpected said out loud with his head bent down.

“Uhmmm… Excuse me, can I… I ask for your signature?” a voice suddenly said.

Yoochun quickly looked at the person standing in front of him. “You’re asking for my signature?” he asked a young boy about 17 years old. It wasn’t everyday that a boy would come up to him and ask for his signature.

The boy quickly nodded. “Well, it isn’t for me. It’s for my younger sister,” he added.

“Oh, I see… “ Yoochun uttered as a smile appeared on his lips. He couldn’t help but admire the young boy in front of him. The boy must really love his sister, he thought.

“Can you please sign this?” the boy asked as he shyly gave Yoochun a cd. It was one of their Japanese singles.

Yoochun took the cd and pen and was about to write when… “What’s the name of your sister?” he asked the boy.

“Yumiko,” the boy uttered with a sad tone.

Yoochun quickly stared at the boy. “And your name is?”

“My name is Hiro,” the boy answered. “I’m sorry for disturbing you,” he added politely.

Yoochun lightly laughed. “It’s okay,” he said. He had already returned the cd when he looked at the boy again. “Tell me, how did you know that I would be here?”

Hiro suddenly felt embarrassed to answer Yoochun’s question. “I… I had been following you and your friends for a month now. But I always get blocked by your body guards. My sister’s birthday is next week. So I had been trying to get close to one of you, so I can fulfill my promise.”

“So you’ve been stalking me and my friends, so you can give your sister her birthday gift?” Yoochun asked curiousy.

Hiro nodded.

“Honestly I admire your determination to fulfill your promise to your sister,” Yoochun uttered. He then paused and looked at the cd the boy was holding. And immediately he thought of a wonderful idea. “Do you think you can give me your sister’s full name and your address?”

Hiro looked at Yoochun with curiosity written all over his face. “Yes… but can I ask why?”

“I just want to give your sister some additional gifts that would surely make her happy,” Yoochun answered.

The boy’s face lit up with joy. “Thank you…. I know Yumiko would be delighted to receive more gifts… especially if it came from you.”

“I will be sending the gifts tomorrow,” Yoochun said with a bright smile.


“Hyung, why are we signing this?” Changmin asked Yoochun with a slight irritation and a confused look on his face. He had just entered the kitchen and was about to get his breakfast.

“Sign first, before you eat,” Jaejoong said with a laugh. “No signature, no food.”

“Oh, that’s harsh. How many signatures do you need?” Changmin asked back as he hurriedly took the cd and pen away from Yoochun.

Yunho who was already filling up a cd with some personal messages laughed out loud. “That’s our very helpful Changmin…”

“Yoochun met a boy last night who had been stalking us for a month now. He had promised his sister a cd with our signatures on it as a birthday gift. So we’re helping out…” Junsu explained with a bright smile. He felt so happy to do such a wonderful thing for someone… especially a fan. Somehow he feels like it has been a long time since they did something special… together.

“Oh, now I understand. You should have just told me straight away,” Changmin said.

“How about if… we just bring our gifts personally? Don’t you think that would be a much nicer gift?” Jaejoong asked the other members.

The other boys nodded their heads and agreed right away. “I got the address here. How about if we just go now and surprise the girl?” Yoochun asked happily.

“Yes, that’s a great idea,” Yunho added. He was suddenly excited and happy.

“Okay then…. We’ll leave in an hour,” Junsu uttered.


After an hour…

“Thank you …. but Yumiko’s dead,” an old woman said as she politely accepted the boys gifts.

“Dead?” Yoochun couldn’t believe what he heard.

The old woman nodded her head and took out the picture of her daughter. She then gave the picture to Yoochun. “She died a week ago… She had been sick for the past three years. But she kept on fighting… everyday… hoping…” a bitter smile appeared on the old woman’s lips.

The DBSK boys pitied Yumiko. She was still very young.

“But Hiro… he said that he was going to give her a gift for her birthday. So we thought that she was…” Yoochun tried to explain.

“Still alive? Hmmm….When Yumiko was still alive Hiro promised her that he would give her a cd with your signatures on it for her birthday. She was already an avid fan even before she got sick. And even though her sickness prevented her from doing the ordinary things she used to enjoy… She found another passion that kept her busy until the very end of her life. Because of your group, she found her passion for writing. As time passed by, her sickness grew worst but she still tried to be strong and never allowed herself to lose contact with all the things that were happening with all of you…. your lives, your careers… your music. Somehow I feel like… you were another reason why she tried to fight longer. She would always listen to your songs whenever she was in pain. I know she would be very happy that all of you came here…. Thank you for taking the time and all the effort to make my daughter … happy,” the old woman uttered as she slowly cried.

The DBSK boys were totally speechless. They were taken by surprise by what they found out. The happy memory they were expecting was instantly replaced with sadness, pity and regret.

It was then that Hiro suddenly appeared with a small book in his hands. “Thank you for all the gifts you guys brought. In exchange, I would like to give you this.”

“What is it?” Yunho asked.

“It’s Yumiko’s diary…. I know it would really make her happy, if you guys accept this,” Hiro replied.

“Oh no… We can’t possibly accept that…. That’s too personal. You should be the ones to keep it,” Jaejoong uttered.

“Please do accept it. I have read the whole diary, and all the words she had written in that small book are already engraved in my heart. I will remember those words even if the book is gone. Please accept it,” the old woman softly uttered.

The DBSK members exchanged glances with one another. Somehow they were asking each other whether to accept the book being given or not.

A few minutes passed…

With trembling hands, Junsu carefully reached out for Yumiko’s diary. “Thank you…” he uttered softly to Hiro.

Hiro smiled…. “I should be the one thanking you… all of you. You have all made my sister very happy with your music…. and your songs.”


Another hour passed, at the boys’ apartment….

Jaejoong carefully opened the diary and started to read out loud… The first half of the small book was full of details of their past achievements. The DBSK boys were very touched. They couldn’t believe that someone could really give so much attention to them, when she obviously had other important things to give attention to.

Jaejoong read on and on… somehow the words he was reading were becoming too addicting. He just longed for more and more…

“What is happiness? All of us have different definitions for it. But for me, I only have one answer, and that is DBSK. They made me happy during the times I was sad. Their songs were my companions during the times I was alone. They were my special friends, even if it was only in my dreams and in my stories. Because of them, I met so many friends online. I never thought I would be able to meet so many people from different countries, and instantly feel the connection with them. Sometimes I wonder if the DBSK boys even know the kind of power that they have. They have brought so many people together from different walks of life without realizing it. They are truly like gods in their own right. And I believe their name fits them perfectly, The Rising Gods Of The East”

“They are my very own special gods that have brought a special light into my darkening life. They made my dull and fading world, full of color and life once again. Because of them, I learned so many things that I will never learn in one lifetime. And even if I was at the very end, I am still thankful. They brought out the other side of me, which I never really knew. I learned how to write wonderful stories all because I was in love. I was in love with all of them in my own little world of imagination. I placed myself in the shoes of all the thousands of fans that kept on screaming their names. I wanted to play out the various scenes that were constantly playing in my head. I wanted to create a world wherein their fans can enter and also interact with them. The stories I wrote were the worlds created by my mind so to give happiness to other people. Now I know how it feels like to actually make other people happy without asking anything in return, and just being myself and enjoying the endless words of joy that fans like me are giving for the stories I have written. Unexpectedly, I learned humility.”

“There were times I couldn’t bear the pain anymore and just wanted to give up. But their songs made me think twice. The words in their songs gave me hope and a new meaning in life. Their melodies touched my lonely heart and erased the traces of pain that entered my life day after day. Whenever I feel down, I would just watch them perform and I would suddenly feel happy again. The smiles and laughs they shared made me think that life is still worth fighting for. Whenever I see them, I remember my brother and my mother, like them they are also the reasons why I keep on fighting. I want to live and breathe as long as my body would allow me to. I want to experience the happiness that life has to offer. I want to give what I can to others so I can at least have something to leave to all the important people in my life.”

“How funny, just when you thought that everything is already at the end. Something happens and you suddenly realized that everything is really just beginning. I thought my life was really over the moment I learned I was sick and I only had about a few months up to a year to live. After I learned about this, I became bitter and I hated everything and everyone around me.”

“But because of the love my mother and brother showered me with, I slowly learned how to accept my fate. Yes, I was dying. But it didn’t mean that I can no longer live like a normal person. I was sick, but I wasn’t dead. I still had a chance to do things.”

“I returned to my normal life. But my life was already restricted. I was forced to be confined in my own little world, my small sanitized room, free from dust and small particles that might make me sick. My body was already failing and I wasn’t allowed to catch even the simplest sickness. I felt like I was trapped. There were times I wanted to break free and just ran out of the door and get myself all soaked up in the rain like the way I used to. How I missed playing in the rain with my brother.”

“Two years passed, the pain grew much worse and stayed longer. But I was already immune. I just took everything without any complaints.”

“Already nearing the end, but I am happy. My brother just bought the latest cd of DBSK. But of course, my dream of owning a cd with all the boys’ signatures is still a fantasy. He promised me I would get one for my birthday. My birthday will be in three weeks time. I hope I can still make it. I can feel my body is starting to endure the pain more horribly now. But the pain I am feeling can’t even compare with the pain I feel after I learned about the trouble the DBSK boys are going through. I pity them. I wish I could fly to their side and just comfort them. I know they are going through a hard time right now.”

“Keep on fighting! No matter what hardships you guys are facing right now. There will always be a light that will come your way. Always remember your fans will always support you in whatever decisions you make. I know you guys are in pain right now. But everything will come and go. Just hold on to each other tightly and everything will be all right. Just keep trusting each other, and all the trials will pass. I believe in you, the same way the thousands of other fans believe in you. We will always love you and support you no matter what happens.”

“I feel strange today. I don’t know why. I have been singing the boys’ songs for the last few days. I just feel like I want to sing and sing like there’s no tomorrow. And another weird thing, I greeted someone Merry Christmas, even though it’s still a month away. I am acting more peculiar as the days pass by. Also I easily get tired these passed few days. I am listening to Insa right now. And although it’s too sad, I always find it so soothing to listen to. I am going to rest for a while after this. Then I am going to watch some videos again. I have missed the DBSK boys so much. They haven’t appeared in any new shows lately. I wish all their troubles will finally come to an end. I know all their other fans are also missing them as well. Keep on fighting, I will always pray for you guys. Even if I die today, and when I finally go to heaven, I will still keep on praying for you to always be together and continuously make beautiful music forever.”

Jaejoong stopped reading. It was the last entry. Tears were already streaming down his face. He couldn’t help but feel so touched and blessed. He looked at the other DBSK members, and they were crying as well.

Unexpectedly, Yunho stood up. “Let’s make an angel happy… Let’s promise to always be together and continue to make beautiful music until we all grow old.”

The DBSK boys gave each other the most loving and longest embrace they had ever given each other. An angel touched their lives. And they will forever learn from the simple lessons and words she had taught them.


A month later… on a Christmas fan meeting…

All the DBSK boys were already on stage… before they performed their last song, Jaejoong unexpectedly decided to make a short speech…

“This song is dedicated to an angel we never really met, but who touched our lives with her meaningful words. She had taught us how to live life to the fullest.. She made us see our mistakes and she made us stronger. She will always be in our hearts. This is for you…. Yumiko… and thank you.”

As the boys sang together again, tears of joy streamed down from their eyes. They will always keep their promise… They will always make beautiful music together…. forever…

Somehow… they know an angel was singing with them up in heaven…..

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