[ENTRY 6] My Last Christmas With You

A figure, a female figure to be exact could be seen walking by the nearly empty roadside. It’s Christmas Eve; those people should be at home now, spending time with their family members, unlike her.

Alone, cold and pressured.

She breathed out softly. Her breath comes out as vapor. Trying to warm up her body, she tugged the muffler tighter around her neck, not too tight that she might choke from it.

She wondered, did the people at the hospital realized about her? She had been gone from her room since 2 hours ago, they should’ve realized, right?

Not that she cared. She refused to go back to that dreadful place. Time is killing her, and so does that place.

She walked at the foreign road. Where am I? She thought silently as she wondered around. The road was unfamiliar, so does the people here. Everyone rushed pass her to get back to their houses, not even taking a second glance at her pale face and red blood lips.

“After all, I’m not worth to be recognized and realized…” She whispered silently, looking up at the nearly dark sky, watching the snow fall.

“God, why do you let me live on the first place?”


“Oppa, I’m sorry! I should’ve told you earlier…” She pleaded, tugging on his coat slightly, wanting his warmth to warm her cold body. Warm her cold heart.

But he pulled away.

“Oppa…” She tried reaching him, but he moved even further.

“We’re through.”

Her tears falls on her cheeks like waterfall. She couldn’t believe it. Her first love said that to her?

“You’re sick. I don’t want to live with someone who is sick like you.”

Her heart thumped loudly even now. Too loud, too fast that it made her feel the pain.

“Besides, I agreed on being with you because… I’m on a bet with my friends.”

Truth. Why are they so cruel?

Fate, are you playing your game on me?

“Goodbye. Hope you last long.”

Life, why do you have to be so cruel on me?

[End of Flashback]

She walked on the park, looking for a warm place to sit on and relax. But under the cold evening of 24th December, there’s no such place except for home.

Home. The word made her heart tremble.

She had no home since he left her. He was her everything. Since then, everyone, her uncle, her cousin left her.

They refused to take care of a sick person like her.

Her parents had left her since she was 7 years old. That was 10 years ago.

Today, 10 years after, everyone left her. Even her own blood-related. Her own brothers.

Life is unfair, right?

Realizing that her feet needs some rest, she sat on the nearest bench, under the large tree, covered with snow.

How she hoped that she has a companion on her last Christmas night. To warm her heart for the last time, before she says goodbye to the world.

She hugged her knees close to her body, trying to warm her cold body. She can feel it coming, the Death.

But she’s not feeling anything. She had made that decision, to enjoy her life for the last time, not just lying on the hospital bed, dying.

That’s when she could hear faint footsteps; it’s coming towards her direction.

“Excuse me, miss, are you alright?” A male voice greeted her in the silent evening. She looked up just to meet with that handsome face of his.

She could feel her heart started to warm once again. She smiled. He smiled too. She tried moving her legs, but seems like her limbs are failing on her.

She could feel her body slowly moving in the air, before darkness engulfs her completely.


“I’m sorry for being such a bother for you on this Christmas Eve.” She apologized for the nth time that night, as he placed a warmer cloth on her.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” He replied with a smile. The smile that made her heart flutters.

“Do you mind me asking?”

“Nope. Feel free to ask anything.”

“Don’t you have a family?”

He looked at her for a moment of silence before sighing out loud. That startled her, for a reason.

‘Is his fate the same as mine?’ She thought as she took a sip of the hot coffee.

“Be careful. It’s still hot.”

He then stood up slowly, making his way to the see-through wall, admiring the snowy view of the city.

“I don’t have a family.”

“I see. I guess fate made us meet like this.”

He turned around and took his seat, next to her. “What do you mean?”

She looked into his eyes and saw something. Something familiar. Longing. Lonely. Tears.

“Because neither do I.”


“WHAT?! YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!!!” He roared suddenly, grabbing his coat on the table but was stopped by her hand. He looked into her eyes and can’t help but to get mesmerized by those doe-like eyes. How can anyone possibly not mesmerized by those beautiful blue eyes?

“I don’t want to. I’ll die earlier if I stay there.” She pouted sadly; he could see her cheeks glowing. Is she about to cry?

“Yoon… I’m sorry… Please don’t cry… You know you cannot cry…” He kneeled on his knees in front of her, holding on her chin, pulling her face slightly to face him.

Indeed, he could see tears were welling up at her beautiful eyes. He wiped them away before it even has time to spill.

“I’ll be with you tonight. On your last Christmas.”


That night, after changing to a more comfortable and warm clothing, they went out to the park to play. She had always wanted to go to the park, and he too. So to the park they went.

They played a lot of games and eat a lot of foods, despise the fact that it’s Christmas Eve, the park was nearly packed.

They had gotten closer that night, no more formal names, and little did they know, her heart is beating faster than ever, and so does his when they accidentally touched each other’s hand. They went to the photo booth, a lot of candid photos were taken, and she was happy. Happy that someone finally realized her existence. Is it too late to say those three words to him?

“Yoon! Say ‘Cheese’!” He laughed out loud when she accidentally bumped her head on his chest.


That moment was captured. Their closest distance that night. Her face was slightly flushed, yet still smiling. And his? He was laughing hard at her silliness with a slight shade of pink on his face.

The night had nearly come to its end. Their fun will end soon, but neither wants it to end.

Can they stop the time from ticking?


They were sitting at the swing, just outside a church. It was partly covered with snow but he brushed them off just for them to sit on it, enjoying the night view.

Her last few minutes.

“Yunho oppa… I’m very happy tonight.” Her voice is soft, as soft as the melody. Her smile was full and contented, indeed, she was very happy.

“I’ll bring this little memory of ours into my grave…” She continued when he didn’t reply. His heart beats faster when she said that. Somehow, he doesn’t want her to go.

“Yoon, don’t say that. You’ll always be in my heart, no matter where you are. Got that? And with me, our memories will always be cherished and remembered.” He placed her head on his broad shoulders, whilst he wrapped his arms around her small waist. They stayed like that until…

“Oppa, is it too late to say I love you?” She breathed out slowly; her voice is fading too…

“No, it’s never too late, Yoon. I love you too. Do you know that?” Tears started to form in his eyes. No matter how hard he tried to prevent them from falling on his cheeks, it’s useless. His tears come streaming down his face when he felt her body tremble slightly.

“Yunho oppa, thank you for everything… Thank you… For making me happy on my last Christmas… Thank…” She coughed; even her cough seems so painful. He caressed her body even more, trying to give her some warmth.

“…You… Thank you oppa… For warming my heart for the last time…” She shivered in the cold night of Christmas Eve. He hugged her even closer.

“You warmed mine too…” He simply said. That simple words coming out from his mouth, his simple thought brought a smile on her face. Even though it is painful.

“Yoon, is it painful? If it is, let me know… I want to feel it too…” He hugged her even closer, if it’s possible. She shook her head slightly, although it was so light, he could still feel it.

“No, it’s not. Because, I’m with you.” He smiled. He could feel hot droplets on his hands which were holding her securely around her waist. His tears flow down with hers.

“Yunho oppa, I’m so sleepy…” She placed her head on his chest; listening to his heartbeat gives her the will to live. At least, longer by few seconds.

“You want to sleep?” He asked her softly, afraid that if he said anything louder than the wind, she might just go away from him.

Silly, yet naïve thought of his.

“Just for a few minutes… Can I, oppa?” Her eyelids had gotten heavier. Her vision itself had blurred, part of them because of her tears, part of them because she’s actually losing her vision slowly, along with the life in her.

“Just, don’t forget to wake up, okay? We’ll go on a date tomorrow. Is that okay with you?” His voice was partly audible, and it’s clear that he’s trying to hold back his tears.

“Date on Christmas? It sounds so good to my ear… Deal?” She held out her pinkies, as he entwined his with hers.

“Deal. Now, sleep peacefully, alright?” He wrapped his muffler around her neck, giving her the last warmth.

“Yunho oppa…” She whispered. She could feel it. It had come. Yet, she still wanted him to know.

“Yes?” His tears falls even more hearing her soft yet painful whisper.

“I love you.” She breathed her last breath, along with her confession. Tears streaming down on her slightly pink cheeks, it descends slowly until it dropped on his arms that were around her waist.

While him, upon hearing her confession and her last breath, cried along. He had never felt so sad like this. Yet, he’s happy because he had met his angel.

“I love you too…”

—-The End—-

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