[ENTRY 7] My Precious Christmas

[December 1993]

“Nobody wanted me…Umma and Appa didn’t want me…My family…didn’t want…me…” a boy sobbed as he’s shivering. It’s so quite because it passed midnight. No light, just utter darkness that could be seen by the boy. People were taking good sleep in their home, preparing for the day after tomorrow. No one cared about him; he’s alone in this big and cruel world. He’s afraid, the darkness and coldness ate him. He couldn’t feel his feet, which covered with the snow. His fingers were frozen behind the torn up hand gloves. He could feel the cold breeze attacked his lungs, he couldn’t breathe. Later on, he just knew that the world was spinning around him.


“Hey…” a soft voice echoed in the boy’s earlap.

“Are you awake?” another voice asked, this voice was manlier, or so the boy thought.

The boy opened his mouth weakly; his eyes still hadn’t opened yet, mumbling unknown languages to the other boys that surrounded him.

“U…..mma…A….pp…pa…They…didn’t want me…” the boy’s voice became clearer as he opened his eyes, the eyes those are in tears now.

“He’s crying!!! That’s your fault!” another sharp and mean voice said.

“Hey! That’s not my fault, Minnie!” they protested.

“OK, OK. Stop fighting! He needed rest!” a dolphin-like voice said as he hugged the crying boy,” It’s OK. You’re not alone. I’m here for you…We’re here for you…”

Amazingly, in a few sec, the boy stopped his crying, he looked up to the other four boys that were surrounding him.

“Where am I?” the boy asked.

“Orphan house…” the sharp and mean voice answered.

“But, I’m not an orphan…” the boy protested.

“Hey! What’s your name?” the spiky-haired boy asked, changing the subject.

“Aren’t you suppose to tell the others yours before asking?” the boy asked.

“Oh, sorry. I’m the Great-King-Jung-Yunho!” the boy joked; he’s certainly not a king. A king would never wear a singlet.

“I’m the Number-One-Pianist-Park-Yoochun! Nice too meet you!” another boy, whose hair was kind of long said.

“I’m the Dolphin-Boy-Kim-Junsu!” the one that hugged the boy just now said.

“He has a great butt for your note…” the one left said,” I’m Changmin, by the way…”

“Hey! Minnie, where’s your title!? You should be the Horrifying-Strategist-Shim-Changmin!” Junsu teased back.

“Shut up!”

“OK, now, what’s your name?” Yunho asked the boy.



“Your fever has cooling down. You can walk now, but don’t get too tired, OK?” a nurse said as she caressed Jae’s cheek; he’s just like a lost boy.

“Boys! Take care of him, OK?” the nurse ordered as she left.

“Hey! Since you can walk now, let’s go outside! There’s tons of snow!” Yunho said.

“Yeah! Let’s make a snowman!” the other chorused together.


Jae walked again on the snow, but now there’re exact differences than the last time. He got new warm cloth; his boot was so comfortable, not like the old one. His torn up gloves weren’t there anymore; it’s replaced by the soft and cute-painted-gloves, just the way Jae liked it.

“Jae! What are you going to build?” Yoochun asked.

“I…I don’t know…” Jae answered bluntly. He lived in the streets, yet, he never played with the snow, and he always thought that’s horrifying. The snow would freeze him if he didn’t get enough warmness or food or sleep.

“Just make whatever you wanted…” Changmin suggested.

“How about an animal? Like a dolphin? That’s cute!” Junsu said.

“So, what are you going to build Jae?” Yunho asked again.

Jae thought for a sec, there’s one day when he was starving. He looked from a window of an expensive restaurant. He could see a shining shrimps with a golden plate, green vegetable with incredible taste, or so he thought and many more. Too bad because he was exiled by the owner; he didn’t eat for the rest of the day.

“I…I want to make food…” Jae said. The other seemed to be surprised, but in a good way.

In the end, Junsu really made a weird-looking-dolphin-with-a-duck-butt; Yoochun with his great grand piano; Yunho with his great stage (he said that he wanted to dance on a stage just like it someday); Changmin, he just made normal snowman, but Min was gone mad when he saw Jae’s creation. It’s like a dream to him. Tons of food!!! He loved food!!! That’s why he almost destroyed (ate) Jae’s creation if the others didn’t stop him. Jae laughed.

There’s another thing that Jae realized, he’s not alone again now. He got friends!


“Jae ah, what do you want?” Yunho asked as he played with Jae’s palm. They slept on the same bed; five of them. Yoochun and Yunho on the side; Jaejoong, Changmin, and Junsu in the middle.

“What did you mean?” Jae asked as he rubbed his eyes.

“Do you have anything you want at the moment?” Yunho asked as he made sure the blanket kept the boys warm.

“I…If…if this is a dream, I wish it never ended…” Jae said as a tear escaped his eyelids. Yunho who saw it immediately hugged him.

“Silly, it’s not a dream, we won’t leave you…”

And so the boys slept.


The next day…

“Wait! Where are you guys going?” Jae asked.

“We’ll be leaving for some times, we’ll back in the afternoon…” Yoochun said. They needed to make sure Jae stayed there, at their bedroom, that’s why Changmin said he’s going to lock the door once they got out.

“Noo!!! Don’t…!!!” Jae shouted as he hugged Yunho’s from the back, preventing the boy from leaving,” Don’t leave me…Don’t…”

Yunho couldn’t take it anymore; seeing the crying Jaejoong made his tiny heart hurt so much. He finally decided that he would stay with Jae while the others went out. After the three boys leaving, Yunho took Jae to their bed side. He opened the drawer and took a small box. Jae wasn’t crying anymore, but weak sobs could be heard.

“Mianhe…” Yunho said as he caressed Jae’s red-blushed cheek.

“I don’t want to…*sob*…be alone…” Jae sobbed.

“I know, I’m sorry…” Yunho said as let Jae sat on their bed and opened the small boxes. Magically, the box sang a beautiful melody. It made Jae’s sobbing stopped. It liked a harmony that brought warmness, happiness, calmness to Jae’s trembling heart. He hated being like this, depending on the others. But he couldn’t help it. After being thrown away by his parents, he didn’t have anyone. Until yesterday evening, bunch of boys greeted him as he woke up from his sleep; they were so nice, they even asked Jae to play with them. Little Jae certainly didn’t want to wake up if this was a dream. He wanted to be in it forever.

“Yunho…” Jae called.

“Hmm?” Yunho answered gladly, regarding Jae’s smiling face.

“Can I live here?” Jae asked,” I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want to be with you guys. I don’t want to feel the coldness of the streets anymore…It’s horrifying, I…I…”

Jae stopped when Yunho hugged him. He liked being hug like this, even though it made him missed his Umma. But the boys’ presence was more precious to him now. He wanted to be part of them badly.

“Of course! You’re welcome here, Jae…” Yunho smiled.

Then, they listened to the music until it ended. Jae took the box, it’s the 1st time he saw a magical box like this.

“What is this?” Jae asked innocently,” I love this magical box…”

“It’s a present from my parents…For my 5th birthday…It’s a music box…” Yunho answered.

“Parents? Where are them now?” Jae asked as he put the box back on Yunho’s palm.

“In heaven…I guess so…” Yunho’s eyes were filled with sadness, but somehow, there’s hope too,” They died in accident last year. I didn’t have any relative, that’s why I’m here…”

“…Sorry…” (Jae)

“No need to apologize…Everyone here lost something valuable…” (Yun)


The boys went out too the next day. This time, Junsu stayed with Jae. The others would be back in the evening.

“Junsu…” Jae called.

“Hmm?” (Su)

“Where are they going? Yesterday and now…” Jae asked.

“Err..ehm! They need to do some errand for the nurses…” Junsu answered.

“I want to help too…” Jae pouted cutely. Junsu smiled.

“You just recovered from your high fever, so maybe next time, OK?”


“Yunho! Yoochun! Changmin!” Jae hugged the boys as they entered the room.

“Hey, calm down Jae…”

“I couldn’t breathe…”


Jae let them go. He already got used to them; he could act more openly to them now. He was about to protest why they late, but Yunho spoke first.

“Jae, let’s go somewhere, all of us!”

So Jae followed without complaining, he’d been SO bored, wasting his-two-day-time in his bedroom, taking a good rest to make sure the fever wouldn’t come back again. He let the boys leaded him, step by step, trusting them completely. They walked along the hall, then after few seconds, they turned left, to the room that Jae had never been before. Jae stopped when the other stopped walking; he looked at them confusedly.

“Open the door…” Yunho said. So, Jae opened the door. Jae couldn’t believe what he saw. They were in a medium-sized hall. A huge sign was there, saying, “Welcome to Your New Family, Kim Jaejoong!” It was like a dream to little Jae. The word family kept echoing in his mind. He got a family! Jae was stunned, didn’t move an inch. Tears escaped his eyelids, even though he tried so hard to not crying; the tears were unstoppable.
“Jae! Are you OK?” the boys chorused together. Jae shook his head right-and-left. The others were more confused. They hugged Jae as Jae crying so hard; he nurses even trying to calm Jae down. After few minutes, Jae stopped crying, he hugged the boys, not willingly to let go.

“I…always wanted *sob* a…family…” Jae tried to talk as he tried to calm down.

“Jae…You got us now…” Yoochun said.

“Yup, we’ll be your brothers!” Junsu declared.

“Forever…” Min added.

“That’s why, stop cying, OK? We want to see our Joongie smiling…” Yunho said.

“So…So, in these two days, you guys were…” (Jae)

“Yeah, we’re preparing your welcoming ceremony!” The boys said proudly and smiled.

“And one more things…” Changmin said.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!” the boys chorused together. Jae just stared blankly; later on, he finally realized today was 25th December.


[Present Time]

“Good work all of U!!!” the director said.

“Thank you so much for the hardwork!” TVXQ chorused together. Later on, they changed their cloth. After that…

“Chun ah, do you see Jae?” Junsu asked. Yoochun shook his head.

“Where’s hyung gone to?” Changmin asked.

“I’ll look for him…” Yunho, the leader said. The other followed eventually, Jae had been acting kind of weird since the morning, and they worried about him. That’s when one of the staff told them that Jae was in his changing room, they went there.

They knocked the door, no one answering. Then, they opened it slowly. It’s so dark, no light, no sound. Suddenly the light was on, leaving the four shocked, not because the sudden light, but the figure that they saw. He’s holding a cake on his hand and the table in front of him was filled with lots of food.


“Merry Christmas!!!” Jae said as he hugged his member. The other finally realized today was the 25th December.

“Jae hyung ah~” Yoochun smiled

“Kumawo…” the other chorused.

Then they started to attack the food. Jae made all of it, he felt satisfied that his member ate all of it happily, they chatted and fooling around. Just like the old days.

“Yunho, here…” Jae said as he gave a box in warp paper. He gave the three others too. They just stared blankly. Later on, Jae said,” It’s…Christmas preset from me…”

They opened it. Junsu got a headset with a dolphin symbol on it, Junsu liked it so much. Yoochun got a cloth with huge piano pictures on it, he really loved the present. Changmin, well, nothing would make our Minnie happier than food. He was given a ticket to eat freely at an expensive sushi restaurant. ’I LOVE YOU HYUNG!’ Min said. Lastly, Yunho. He opened the present carefully. A brown box showed itself. Yunho opened it as a melody covered the whole room. It’s a music box, exactly the same with little Yunho had few years ago.

“I…I know your music box had broken, that why I try to look for the same model. I know the meaning is different, since it was your parents’. But still, I want to give it to you…” Jae said.

Yunho rushed to Jae’s side and hugged him. The others followed too. Jae just smiled happily, the happiness and warmness were in him now; he’s really full of joy.

For others, maybe Christmas was just a Christmas Day, but for Jae, it’s when his happiness started, when he met his member.



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