You’re My Star [yuna_luv]

Everything has a story. So does this star-shaped pendant necklace, a gift from him. I could almost feel his last touch on my hands, but it faded away faster than the blink of an eye. Oh, how I miss you now…

Annyeong oppa,

How are you? I hope you are well, together with your friends, or more appropriately, your brothers. Although you are not blood related to them, I know they are like family to you. I wish you guys luck, for the coming events. Pity I couldn’t attend them…

I could remember the cold days, where we would snuggle together in a blanket, looking at the stars above us. You had always kept me warm, and I’m grateful for that. Thank you very much for existing in my life, even just for a short while. You were truly a blessing, a gift from the above. Don’t you think?

You said Cassiopeia stars are the prettiest, right? I didn’t believe you until you showed it to me that night. You were very excited and happy. Whenever I see you like that, I’m happy too. You lighted up my life, oppa. You made me fall in love with you. Not once, not twice, but everytime you smiled. I’m sorry ‘it’ had to happen in the same night…

I know you were shocked and worried when I fainted for the first time in front of you and got myself hospitalized. I’m sorry for keeping my state of health a secret from you. I just did not want you to lose that charming smile off your face. I did not want you to treat me differently. Above all, I did not want you to stop loving me.

When I woke up the next day, there you are, beside me, holding my hands all the night through. I wondered how you would feel now, knowing that I have leukemia. If you want to release me from this blissful bond, I’ll accept it. But you did not. You continued loving me till now. You have such a strong heart, oppa. That is why I love you even more. You even lent me some strength, especially during those painful chemotherapies… You are my guardian angel. My savior. My strength. My love.

You never complained whenever I was pulling off tantrums, or when I cried of pain… You were always there for me. I wondered how you were able to balance between your workload and me. When I ask you about it, your answer was a simple “Don’t worry about it.” But, how couldn’t I? I love you, that’s why I was worried about you, oppa. But then, I remembered. You are my angel. So, nothing’s impossible with your magic, right? You always create wonders with your magic. How I wish I can see it for the last time…

In my hands now, is the beautiful necklace that you gave me the last night we were together, before you left for work abroad. You handed me the necklace, saying, “Here, I give you one of the stars of Cassiopeia. This is me. Remember me whenever you look at it. Always wear it, so I can stay by your side, forever.” I cried hard that night, remember? Then, you had to comfort me all night and at last, you fell asleep beside me, on the hospital bed. I looked at you, wondering how much time do I have left to see your handsome face. Unknowing by you, I even kissed you that night. Did you notice? Oh well… I’m blushing now, if you are wondering… ^^

The star-pendant is shining brightly now. So are you. Please keep on shining, oppa. Not only for me, but for everyone else too, especially your fans. You may not know, but some of them are like me, hanging on to you to keep on going forward in life. Give them hope, oppa. Give them something to hold on, lend them your strength as you did to me. Please, oppa. This is my last wish. I would be very happy if you would do that for me. Please?

My sister also liked the necklace. She always came to me, wanting it. It seems you have an admirer, oppa. She could not stop talking about you, about us, how we would be if you and I got married… See? Even my little sister fell in love with you. That is because you are so irresistible, oppa.

Oh my, I’m crying again. I’m sorry, oppa. Although I promised you to stop crying, it just fell without me knowing. I’m really out of time, oppa. I hope you would come back soon. I want to see you for one last time. The doctor said that it wouldn’t be long before I… I close my eyes and I breath my last…

Oppa. I miss you, and I love you so much. I’m sending this necklace back to you, because it’s your turn to remember me by it. All the memories we had together, I had encrypted it into the star’s shining gaze. Everytime you look at it, remember that I’m one of the stars above you, always looking over you. You can find me right next to you, in Cassiopeia. I’ll pray for you everyday, even when I’m a star so that you will find happiness.

Please, let me go, and find her, the one who could make your heart skip a beat everytime you look at her, just like what you told me when we confessed to each other. Letting go does not mean to forget, oppa. You can always remember me, but do not let the memory of me keep you down. You do not want me to be sad too, right? I want you to be happy always, even if its not me when you said your vow. Even if its not me who had your baby. Even if its not me who watch you grow old, and being old together with you. Promise me you’ll move on, oppa. Promise?

My hand is trembling now, oppa. I have to stop writing. If this letter gets to you before I go, let us meet again, at our usual place, beneath the stars. I’ll find a way to sneak out… Haha… Do not worry. My little sister will follow me, to watch out for me. But if I was already gone, please forgive me, oppa. I guess… we’ll meet again in our dreams. Wait for me, oppa. I really want to see you again, even when I’m already gone. I’m sure, God will find a way, if I pray hard enough, right?

All the best, oppa. I love you.

Your no.1 fan.

As soon as the last word was written, I folded the letter neatly, and put it into an envelope together with the necklace. Then, I passed it to my sister, to be passed on to you. I’m tired now, oppa. Let me sleep for a while…The letter arrived in our letterbox just after our recording session in Japan ended. I was very excited when I opened it, feeling glad that she still remembered me, thinking of me. I missed you too, my love, and my trembling fingers were my witnesses. Not to take into count, my heart that only beats for you, and only you…


It had been a long time since we got to talk, since I was so busy with my schedule and you were busy getting treatments… How are you? I hope you rested well. Did you eat your medicine yet? Please forgive me. I’m still light-headed with excitement due to receiving your letter. Your precious thoughts…

I missed the times we had together, when you were well. But I missed our times together in the hospital more. Do you know why? It’s because, I can always look after you there. I can always protect you. And you will always know that I’m there for you. You will always know… that I love you.

How can I ever forget that night of our first anniversary together … You were ever so lovely with your heart throbbing smile when you greeted me under our tree. I noticed you had put some make up on that night, something that you did not usually do. You looked very beautiful. I thank you for your hard work in looking very stunning that night. You shone like a star. Ever so brightly, even I was drowned in its brightness. I’m… drowning in your love…

I do not blame you for having that disease, nor do I blame God for giving it to you. It was already planned out for you, and I believe that maybe, God have bigger plans for you. Maybe he wanted to make you into a star, to shine on me forever. Maybe he wanted you to be my guidance, or even a guide for others. Thank you God, for giving me the chance to meet and fall in love with such a wonderful girl. And I promise, I will never stop loving you, even when you’re gone. You are my precious…

This necklace is the proof of our love’s existence. It also represents me, and you. We are stars that will shine on forever, in our own ways. Yes, I promise you to keep on shining for everyone, but I’ll shine even more brightly for you. I want to light up your life, even for a little bit more. My love, please hold on a moment longer. I’m coming home, home to you…


My pen danced on the paper, writing every word that I wanted her to read. Suddenly, the phone rang and I went to the living room to pick it up. As soon as the hoarse voice at the end of the line ended our conversation, my legs had lost their strength and I fell on my knees. Why didn’t you wait for me?


It rained during your funeral. It seemed that the world was also sad that you were leaving. Now that you had gone, who will wipe away my tears? Who will shove my sadness away? Who will make me smile again? I felt like my heart died with you the first night I spent alone in our usual place, beneath the stars… Your scent was everywhere, between the leaves, flowing with the wind… My mind could not stop thinking about you. Are you thinking about me too?

Look, there’s a star shining brightly than the others in Cassiopeia. How I wish you would be here with me to look at it… But wait, that star… is it you? You blinked once, and I understood. It is you. You kept your promise; you became a star, and looked over me. I’m sorry for the tears… I’m wiping them away now, so do not worry anymore, okay? I’ll be strong for you, for my self, and for my promise. I’ll continue our journey alone, with you guiding me from above. I’ll bring others hope and strength, as you wanted me to do. I will always remember our promise, until it is time for me, to follow you…

Your little sister is fine. She now lives with your aunt, far away from here. I think it is the best for her, so that she will be able to move on without you. I had seen her today, before she left. She was able to take your death calmly, unlike me, who acted like a little child even though your sister was 10 years younger than me. She was a lot like you, strong-willed and kind. She made me miss u even more.

You wanted to see me again, right? I’ll be waiting for you every night, at our usual place. Let us enjoy viewing the stars together again, for one last time. Somehow, the star-pendant is shining brightly now. You are eager for our meeting, right? Haha… I always enjoyed looking at your excited face. I liked it even more when you blushed, every time after we kissed. It made me want to kiss you more and more… I’m looking forward to our meeting. With the pendant shining brighter than usual, I’m guessing… it would not be long before I get to see you again. I’ll pray hard, and I’ll be waiting…

I love you, and I’m missing you.

Your star.

The unfinished letter is now finished. I grabbed my coat and reached for my keys. With the letter in my hand, I went to visit her. Standing in front of her grave, I prayed that we would really meet, even in our dreams. As I put the flowers and the letter in front of her, I could feel soft wind blowing through my hair, and touched my face softly. I knew that it was her, greeting me in her own way. I’m holding the necklace in my hand now, gently and lovingly. Till we meet again, my love…

A/N : To be continued…


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