T/N: NeverEnd is Changmin’s fanclub.
NeverEnd: This was revealed on 7 February during Changmin’s birthday party; a letter written by Changmin to himself. Many thanks to Sarah who wrote it down to share with us and showed us Changmin’s gradual growth. Below is the complete letter.
To Shim Changmin:
You always wish to have a modest appearance. Although it can be said to be a postive aspect of you, but on the other hand, there are times when you show a complete opposite side, so there are often times when you worry about yourself… but recently, I’ve started to have the mindset of appreciating myself and to be proud of myself, so it can be considered a really lucky thing.
Although in the past, it was exactly as what everyone said: I used to live while looking inward and constantly stressing out, making it harder for myself… but in future, I want to have more faith in myself and live my life like that… Didn’t I have the misguided thinking that I was born without a choice on who my parents would be? So, work harder!
Even though I said before: The old me faced many different choices, but the present and future me, will still have many choices that I have to face. In future, no matter what I encounter, no matter who I have to stand before, I want to do the right thing and make the correct choice like I have done so far. Also, as long as I can become a person who stands firm with the right choices I make, that would be good. Of course, I might feel tired because of these choices and I might encounter many difficult things… but if that is the price I have to pay in making the right choice, even if I have to accept punishment, I will break through all these difficulties and ultimately receive wisdom and knowledge.
I think this attitude I have towards life is something I learned from my parents. Although I still have to learn to face up to reality, but no matter how difficult it is, if I cannot make a right choice then I’ll have to shake off those options decisively, and from that, become a wiser, more knowledgeable and confident me. In future, won’t there be choices that will make me become like that? Haven’t I become an artist now? To be an artist as an occupation… Although I’ve been an artist for a few years, even though there are still many things that I don’t fully understand, but I still show my candid side when I appear in front of everyone. There’s also a side of me that even I don’t know about; aren’t there times where I also have to show a side of myself that is not me?
To be honest, this is not something that I dreamed about when I was a child… Who I am now… I often have this thought… “If I’m not doing what I’m doing now, what else can I do? Would I have become a son that constantly causes his parents to worry?” The things that I am doing now may not make people feel exceptionally proud or seem fulfilling. However, don’t I still pass each day happily, looking forward to a better tomorrow?
It allowed me to see a beautiful world that I didn’t know about and awakened the person that I am now… Teacher Lee Soo Man… SM Family still holds the same gratitude in our hearts, so never change^^ If you are still the person that you are now, the heartfelt gratitude we have towards you will never change…
Now I’m also in my twenties… Compared to others who are of the same age, I had to start working a little earlier and I didn’t get to experience the things that they went through… But isn’t there a saying, “you gain something when you lose something”, this phrase is not said without reason. I always do my utmost best to fulfil my responsibilities to try and carve an even better future for myself. I want to expand further, so let me continue to better myself.
When I think of that I will do everything passionately… even though there are many people in the world who look at me enviously… Instead of always trying to hide from these prying eyes, I think I should do things that are honest to what I really feel and to have a youth which is filled with passionate love when I date someone! Even though it’s not an easy task and there might be failures… but I can experience the feelings and passion that belong to my age… I don’t want to miss a thing. I think this is a way to make me work harder to become even more passionate… Even if I fail, I still think this way… Career and love… Like what I said before, I don’t want to miss out on anything anymore… But, if I make a mistake when it comes to relationships, it will become even more dangerous…
In order to have better judgement, I will make decisive choices with a judgement that is as sharp as a blade. I will become a youth that is even more passionate and hardworking than others… I’ll work hard to be even more passionate and rational…
Let’s always work hard…
From Shim Changmin
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